PaddleWheel 2005 whats your fav. Joke?

I like the one about what you call the people of seville... plastic. I think my favorite is the paddlewheel Hoodie of last summer. I'll miss you Capitain Jen!

That wouldn't happen to be a Gummy Bear now would it?

Even though I usually had Captain Kirby or Captain Nathan, I think I'll have to give Captain Sam some props here. While I'm at it, Captain Kate did a pretty good spiel as well!

I heart Paddlewheel...you guys rock.

What do you call a fly with no teeth?

Ahh... I will forever remember making Captain Jen laugh to the point of not being able to speil. It was, in fact, almost like a second job. ;)

What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk...

What do you call a fly with gold teeth? A zipper...

I've done that before too. "That was the worst spiel ever" ha.

Maybe I'm a purist, but I prefer the classic originals more than the custom jokes. My favorite is Rusty Steele's orange juice factory joke.

"Look at that sign folks. It says, 'Fish cleaned while you wait.' I guess we could call that the first frontier CARP WASH."

"Over on the right we can see the famous pioneer singing duo of John Cougar and Lawrence Elk."

"Don't worry folks, we had their stink glands removed. I guess you could say they're 'ex-stinked.'"

"Let me tell you about the Canfields and McGees. They're local moonshiners who live around the corner here, and they feud with each other all the time. Did you hear gun-shots? I don't like the sound of this."

"Oh no, it looks like they're at it again; the Canfields and McGees are a'feudin'! Everybody please stay calm, remain in your seats, and above all don't panic! Everyone please remain calm! If it gets any worse: husbands grab your wives, wives grab your children and cute, available women grab the captain because he's scared, too!"

"Q: Does anyone know what Bucky Beaver just said to that tree? A: It was nice KNAWING ya!"

"This is the town of Seville. That's the Barber of Seville. He offers cut rates."

"They must be sawing dogwood. How can I tell? By the BARK!"

"Over to the right we see a deer. This is a very famous deer. That's Jane. Jane Doe. Maybe you've heard of her husband John Deere. Her father, Buck Rogers. Her twins Pop and Fresh Doe."

"To your left, you see Delbert Feinstein, a local inventor. Yes, he's taking a crash course in aviation. Anyone know what he makes those wings out of? FLYPAPER!

"A couple of hungry bear cubs have climbed a tree in search of honey. In their search, they've angered a swarm of bees not willing to part with their honey. I'm sure the cubs found this situation unbearable. What a sticky situation. Maybe we should let them BEE for now."

"Over on the right we can see Muddy Rivers, Pioneer America's first professional musician. As you can see, he plays the guitar, but he's really a much better banjo player. In fact, he recently formed a new group with his banjo playing. Maybe you've heard of them, they're called BAN-JOVI."

"On the left, we see Russell 'Rusty' Steele, a guy who's been in the pioneer junk business for a number of years. He used to work in an orange juice factory, but he had to leave that line of work. He just couldn't concentrate. The job lost its appeal. He was crushed. The boss canned him because he always came to work juiced. He claims he was squeezed out. Right now he's giving his pig a bath, and at the same time, he's mixing one of his favorite drinks ... it's called SWINE COOLER! If you want some, I'm sure he won't HOG it all."

"We're going to have a bump in the front, a bump in the back and a jerk behind the wheel. When you feel the bump in the back, I want you to look deeply into the eyes of someone you love and say, 'Ooooo, that felt good.'

*** Edited 11/17/2005 2:32:47 PM UTC by Walt***

Kirby and Jen are my favorites. I love Kirby's dirty jokes when only me and my friend were on. Lots of fun on the ride.

You know I used to think I was the only one who actually rode Paddlewheel until I read Walt's post.

And Walt, he's going to bottle it up and sell it later on the midway as hogwash.

Aww Justin I miss you the mostest! I bet I know what ride was your favorite... I mean that never happened... you never drove a boat!

Well Walt I must say... you do know your Paddlewheel jokes. Although I do believe some of them are outdated and flat. Thats why we need to add a few new ones here and there. If we stuck to the same ones everyone would have the same speil. And how boring would that be... Plus anal retentive people like Josh could ruin EVERYTHING... kidding... love you peanut.

I miss you Chris Weber. A lot.

Did you just call me a peanut?

I love how Capp'n Jen just totally disregarded my post.

No love for you at the xmas party.

perhaps....

Muahahahahahahaaaa

I love you Jeffrey! I could never disregaurd you!

By the way I dont think I am going to be making it to the Xmas party... seeing as it id against my loverly probation to be in bars or around alcohol at all! Lol.. gotta love the last night at Louies getting an uderage walking into housing! We will see though!

NO ONE CLEARS DRAGSTER TRAINS LIKE US BEASLEY!!!!!!! *** Edited 11/18/2005 3:20:44 AM UTC by Erroll***

Oh shut up your so coming to the X-mas party even if i have to drag you by your hair and drive you myself... Oh and lets NEVER talk about are last nite @ Lowies its all just one big bad time haha:) i luv u Jen

Me and u are like this....---->*<---- haha lol!

Does anyone have any ideas about some new jokes at paddlewheel???? since i may be the TL there next year i need some help with some new jokes your help woud be great :)

Ummmm.....you could say that Feinstein has never ever failed at jumping over the lagoon, because of all the excellent groups he had cheering for him, and then of course he wouldn't make it because the people didn't cheer enough...I dunno something like that. It's late. I'll think of some more later.

Well... I may not have any favorites, but there is one Paddlewheel moment that brought a little tear to my eye.

Once upon a time, I cleaned a Paddlewheel boat one afternoon. (It got me my first and only cornerstone. When I was leaving the dock, Captain Jen pulled away and asked everyone to wave at "Captain Tyler." I was honored.

I really miss ya guys.

*** Edited 11/18/2005 7:10:42 AM UTC by Neuski***

Not to get off completely off the subject, but I miss the wilderness-like atmosphere the ride once featured. Before all the development surrounding the the boat cruise (Iron Dragon, Mantis, Camp Snoopy, MF, and TTD), it was like the ride took you away from everything else in the park. (sigh) I really miss those days.

Aww I made sure you got that cornerstone! I wrote it on the blue sheet. You were the best pseudo captain ever! I miss you like whoa "till-er"...

There was a lot of new material up there... kinda makes me wanna come back... but it's not going to happen... but it still sounds like fun! You will make a great Team Leader Kirbopolous!

To everyone else... Any memorable mess-ups that you can remember?

If someone acted like they got shot in the shoot out scene.

"Those are wooden people with wooden guns shooting wooden bullets so they "wooden" hurt."

Captain Kirby will ALWAYS be my favorite capatain....but Cpt. Jen, you are a very close second. My personal favorite joke was the one about...husbands grab your wives, wives grab your children, and all available single men/women, grab your captain 'cause he/she's scared......that one brings back good memories.

Nick

Awwww!...Nick that is very sweet of you and your right that joke does bring back some great times Also this one does too...

"You guys are going to feel a strong bump in the front when this happens look into the eyes of the person you love the most and say "oh! that felt good"....*BUMP*.... "Why are you all still looking at me we just met?"

I remember always looking at you and i'd always almost crash the boat everytime because i was so busy looking at you! haha

Thanks Jen i really hope i make a good TL, i just hope the crew rocks without a good crew you got nothing.. And i must say even though this year YOU and ME were the only ones left on are crew at the end of the season we still had an amazeing crew...would'nt you agree???

One joke that sticks out in my mind from 2003 is "And to your right is Top Thrill Dragster the worlds tallest,fastest, paperweight."