PaddleWheel 2005 whats your fav. Joke?

Hey guys its Capt.Kirby! i worked @PWE in 2005 and i had the time of my life.. I noticed you guys always talk about the big rides well i thought Paddlewheel should get some props... So whats is your Fav. Paddlewheel Joke or who is your fav. capt. and why?? It can be past or present it does'nt matter. Well i love you guys and miss you oh so much! This summer and fall was amazing thank you for all the love! i cant wait to see you guys again.

Love, your capt. always

Capt. Kirby :)

I forgot the name, but when we were about to get off the captain said something along the lines of "If liked me my name is ______?, If not, I'm _______(different name). I found it really funny, don't really know why. This was my first season I took a ride on PaddleWheel and it was great.

Summer of 2003: Captain Marcus stated that Albert Feinstein could use some fly-agra to get his flying machine up. I just about pissed my pants laughing. It was a cold Wednesday in May, and I was the only passenger on board, so he knew he could push the envelope.

Captan Marcus was the funniest Captain ever, but unfortunately was fired by mid-season for some of his less than family friendly jokes.

GOES

Hey, Kirby what's going on?

Favorite Captain: Captain Tony (Sorry Kirby)
Favorite Joke (exclusive to Tony): We are now coming to the most exciting part of our tour so I'm going to ask that you reach behind you and grab your 3D goggles. (then at the end of the ride) Enjoy the rest of your day here at Walt Disney World.

Some of my general favorites included:
"Watch your head as you exit, and if you bump your head please watch your language because this is a family park."

Captain said it best, "Once the boat has stopped please exit to the front right, unless of course you didn't like my jokes then you can exit to the front left. If you did enjoy my jokes today then I'd love to hear a guest compliment about Captain Jimmy, of course if you didn't you can always go and complain about Captain Pedro."

"What do you call the peopel in Civil?" "Civilians???" "No, actually they're plastic."

Oh, and one question. I never got that "squirt in the middle one". Can you explain it? lol

~the 05 Paddlewheel fanboy

"your gonna feel a little bump in the front, a little bump in the back, dont be alarmed its just a little peer pressure"

I love Captain Jen...you can heckle her to no end and she'll come right back. Heaven knows my two friends and I did that enough...

Laura

Ah yes the "squirt in the middle" joke. At one point, you pass a boat with two guys fishing. There is water squirting out of the middle of the boat. The captain says something along the lines of "There's *insert name here* and *insert name here* along with *insert name here*, the little squirt in the middle." That was always one of my personal favorites.

Captain Jen once said to an older couple "You two are not laughing at my jokes. Are you Six Flags spies?"

By the way, I am madly in love with captain Jen! *** Edited 11/16/2005 5:24:39 PM UTC by Jethro***

Aww I'm sure I love you too!

I am going to miss all of the jokes... but alas my time as a captain (and employee) has come to an end.

Paddlewheel will always hold two wonderful summers of my life in it's teeny tiny little pair-o-docks...

I like the lighthouse joke personally. And Captain Hector was my favorite captain to sit in on... Although Tony made it interesting cause I had to be ever-mindful of him crashing into something!

After working there all summer i would have to say Capt.Nathan is my fav. Captain his wit is un-matched to anyones.. even me and my fav. joke is "Why do sea gulls fly over the sea? Well if they fly over the bay they would have to be called bagals"!

Its the worst joke we had but i loved it, "Bucky The beaver" was pretty sweet to but C.Moedeeds " the guy painting the boat" is my homeboy, haha Oh and im in love with Buck Skinner "the guy sliceing fur", me and Buck go way back... he gave me a great price on fur last week..j/k

Oh and who is'nt madly in love with Captain Jen, i love her too she was one of are fearless leaders..

The price of fur real good.

Hey, did you ever eat at that restaurant on the moon?

"If you look to your right you will see Millennium Force. This used to be the tallest and fastest rollercoaster in the world! But now, it's just blue."

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, its Captain Kirby and Captain Jen! I'm the guy who always came and tried to tell the punch line before yall could. I loved how every season, spring, summer, and fall how Captain Kirby had a new color of hair from blond, to black, and red; that was awesome.

Gotta say though that YOU, Captain Kirby, always went around with the boat at full speed and didn't make it enjoyable, lol.

Captain Jen was great because she'd always make up new punch lines after I yelled out the answer:

Question: What do you call the people who live in Civil?
Captains Jen's answer(s): Civilians, plastic, fake, wood, faberglass, etc.

Question: What do you call people who mess up the captain's jokes?
Answer: Swimmers, lol.

Actaully I made the ride more enjoyable, don't you captain's agree?

I loved the part of mamma bear being so upset cause her baby cubs were out in their "bear feet".

But my ALL TIME favorite was in 2003, when a captain asked what Wal-Mart and Dragster had in common.... Rollbacks! That was the best!

I miss Captain Nikki

Ahh Captian Jen....I can't believe that you are not coming back. I will miss you!!! I love all the jokes. "We are now going past Mantis one of the tallest and fastest stand-up roller coasters in the world I went to ride Mantis the other day I went to ride Mantis the other day and they would not let me ride because ok apparantly Cedar Point does not allow BAD STANDUPS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Cory Marshall

"Millennium Force is our second longest attraction in the park...

the longest attraction is the line."

I always was partial to the whole joke about "And now here comes Ben's girlfriend".

Everyone please scoot to the left of your bench... now to the right... to the front of your seat... now to the back... Thanks guys, it was my day to polish the benches!

"This is just a three hour tour....get it....three hours...har har"

"There's bucky beaver! He's the only beaver I know that can chop down a tree in slow motion." And then Captain Jimmy added, "And look, he can chop it back up too!" (That's when he would stop the boat and watch the tree go back up again)

"Everybody say Awwwwwwwwwwwww"

One that I only heard from Jimmy, "You guys are BY FAR, the MOST recent group I've had today."

Aww Ben I remember that!

Goat ****er!

I am going to miss Paddlewheel tons... although I will always be Captain Jen at heart!

Heres one that will show a true paddlewheel groupie... Does anyone (besides Kirby) know what we call a Bear with no teeth?

Oh jeez, you got me on that one. If I had to guess, I'd say a bare-mouthed bear. But I'm probably wrong. Grrrrrr...