Ride Info That Has Been Leaked Out

Due to a serious information leak by the Cedar Point employee who runs their email newsletter, "FUNtimes," Cedar Point's 16th roller coaster's information was prematurely released to certain people on their mailing list. (You can bet that this employee is now fired!) HERE is the info everyone has been waiting for!

CEDAR POINT ANNOUNCES ITS 16TH ROLLER COASTER - MCDONALDS DRIVE THRU - THE RIDE!

Following suit of Knott's Berry Farm's Xcelerator, which is themed to a 1950's diner, Cedar Point's newest roller coaster will also be resturant themed, but in a much more modern perspective - the American fast food drive through. McDonalds is chosen as the fast food resturant of choice, indicated by the McDonalds paint scheme - Golden yellow, red, and white.

"When the entire structure is completed, Cedar Point's skyline will have its very own set of 420 foot golden Arches." Said Cedar Point spokesperson, Some Guy.

You heard right - McDonalds Drive Thru: The Ride! will top off at an amazing 420 feet tall, including a 120 mph launch in just under 4 seconds. Not only will it be the world's tallest and fastest roller coaster, it will also be the tallest and fastest thrill ride, period.

Cedar Point built the ride with a huge sponsoring partnership with McDonalds. In return, Cedar Point promised to "give something back to McDonalds," so to speak.

"The speed of the ride symbolizes the fast, reliable service you can only get from a McDonalds drive through, and the coaster's height represents the large greatness that is the McDonalds corporation," claims Some Guy.

This coaster also marks Cedar Point's second attempt at theming a roller coaster. The station will look exactly like an ordinary McDonalds, right down to the sticky floors and dripping ketchup dispensers. Your train enters the drive through after departing the station. Prior to launch, you are parked next to a giant Menu/Order box, which will actually list whatever the train's passengers yell out. The box will then announce "Your total is 420, please pull around", and you immediately launch to 120 mph. Just like your local McDonalds drive through! Other theming includes a giant Ronald McDonald at the highest point of the coaster, passing by the 2 drive through windows, a "Play Place" slide tunnel, and much more. On ride photos will be taken, because We love to see you smile!

Look for further information later this month, and don't forget that Cedar Point opens on May 4th, so you can be the first to try out McDonalds Drive Thru: The Ride! See you on the Midways!

~FUNtimes

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__________________
Rest in Peace - Shockwave - 1988 - 2002
Cedar Point: "Mine's bigger!"
Six Flags Magic Mountain: "Mine's longer!"

Last edited by Raptor on 12-16-2002 at 09:09 PMReport this post to a moderator | IP: Logged-->

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Live to ride ride to live
What's life without rollercoasters!!!

I just realized that several burger chains all have a variation of the red-white-yellow color scheme--McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's. Weird. Maybe there's psychological a connection between that color scheme and likeability with the public.

Anyhoo, this press release is a pretty weak parody. The language is all wrong and inconsistent, and the conceit simply isn't strong enough to carry it. Just not very funny.

Weak parody or not, I'm still LMAO!

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December 13, 2002... they topped the world's tallest roller coaster.

I believe the brighter colors are thought to cause people to eat more....

And if you think that's not funny....you musn't have a very good sense of humor. Your loss.

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Time to put some stank on my hangdown.

So just because I don't shoot milk out my nose at every attempt at 'comedy' that comes across my screen means i don't have a sense of humor? I think quite the opposite.

Anyway, I do wonder just how long it will be before parks start selling out ride names to corporations (not that it would be a new thing--pepsi max--but not many do it now), like so many stadiums nowadays.

Although if my memory serves, wasn't Snake River Falls at one point "Snake River Falls Presented by Pepsi"?

As the attendance on the ride increases they could put up a sign "1 Million Served" just like at McDonalds.

I would be cool to have a tunnel in the brake section

Where would the singing nuggets be?? At the end???

Then of course we also need to bring in the rest of the gang. The hamburgler, grimis and the likes. Make the trains giant Big Mac boxes or happy meal boxes.

LMAO too. I am surprised though,considering how some people are who post on this website (mainly the regular know-it-all's), that there are not any GTTP regulars who believe this as true and are taking it seriously like the "Blue Food and Fun" prank.

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Final 2002 counts:
Millennium Force Laps: 14
Magnum Laps: 15
Raptor Laps: 15
Trips to CP: 14

Funny, it would be in contrast to the worlds SLOWEST McDonald's on the way up to the causeway. ;)

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gravity: down to earth, without the sugar coating.

www.geocities.com/gravityjmb

As if CP themes that elaborately. Didn't I already tell you it was Hamburglar: The Escape?

The only theming you'll experience is a little pre-launch audio:

"Hey! Come back with my burger!"

"Robble, robble, robble..."

And BOOM you're off.

Of course, there will be a slight variation on the purple Grimace cars since he runs off with shakes.

After two seasons, the tape will disappear and everyone will whine that CP ain't what she used to be.

-'Playa

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The CPlaya 100--6 days, 9 parks, 47 coasters, 2037 miles and a winner.....LoCoSuMo.

LMAO at CoastaPlaya...That certainly brings back the memories of the commericals I remember growing up...Well thought out CoastaPlaya and a very funny post

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and remember, if you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter

ROTFL! A co-worker/lurker saw this before I did and told me about it. I certainly appreciate this fictional press release, MUCH more than the whining and complaints that seems to be rampant here lately.

Honestly, some of you really need to lighten up.

OldCP'er....a GTTP REGULAR who did not fall for the Blue Food prank.

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I'd rather die living than live like I'm dead

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Vince79 said:
...that there are not any GTTP regulars who believe this as true and are taking it seriously like the "Blue Food and Fun" prank.

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What, it's NOT true? Aww, and I had already called all my friends, dangit! :)

Funny story. And I thought I had too much time on my hands... :)

They may even say, "would you please pull forward, we are waiting on your elements"

Well, it's a good laugh- but get this. I was at CP on the last saturday and stopped into the operations office to visit (and bemoan the loss of the Schwabinchen) and one of the gals behind the counter made reference to that "giant golden arch we're building over there- oops (claps hand over mouth) ... i suppose i shouldn't talk like that!"

Oh My God- now i'm suddenly very afraid.

When i pressed for any info on the new ride she said "honestly- we don't know the details- they are telling nobody".

Hmmmmmm...

I want Grimmace to check my restraints!!! :)
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I wonder when they will put 2 trains on the Boomerang...
-Andy

I hope this isn't true, I don't want to go and ride Mcdonald's!!! But that would be sad if somebody got fired over something stupid as a early release of a news letter.

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over 400 feet?!? Okie Dokie sure!

There's no way they can call this thing "McDonald's"! This thing is gonna be fast, remember? I doubt that it will forget half your order, too. Last time I went to McD's, they were making a campaign to take the "fast" out of fast food!

"Could you, please, pull forward so that we may have ample time to dress a cow for your childrens' happy meals?"