The funniest thing you have ever seen as an employee? Worst thing?

Okay, I've heard a lot of bad things on here about working here, but what about funny things you CP employees have seen. Also, what about the worst things? Any funny stories about guests? Incidents with the rides?

One year I was a costume character. Our dressing was across the path from the police station. One day, the other Snoopy walked out of the dressing room as Snoopy right when the police officers were lining up for their line duty (shift change or whatever). Snoopy decided to line up beside them. The chief then announced that: There was a K-9 unit on duty that day!

Lets see... getting puked on by guests:

Guest: Do you know where the nearest $hi__er is? I'm gonna be sick!

Me: Right over th...

Guest: <puke>

Me on radio: XYZ to Park Services, we have a protein spill by Shyhawk and on me.

Random Park Services person on radio: Did you say on you?

Me on radio: Yes (audible puking sounds in the background).

Random Park Servies person on radio: <unveiled laughter> We are en-route.

Parental unit of female persuasion with a passel of children in tow...

Gets 1 micron into the gate and the kids are gone... like running away at a full sprint.

She starts shouting very very very loudly their names to get back to her all preceded with F-bombs...

Parental unit: F-ing XYZ get your a_$ back here this F-ing instant!...

Parental unit: I am warning you F-ing PDQ, I will beat you to F-ing death if you don't get back here now!...

This goes on for like 10 names.

The kids meanwhile are past the midway fountain and rolling out toward SRW showing no signs of slowing...

I remember putting the pumpkins on the roof of the then-new main entrance and installing the lights.

I was moderately surprised to discover there was $137.42 (approximately) in loose change on the roof from the keyhole inversions on GK.

I remember wondering if the architects included a "loose change loading" like they do for the "snow load"..

2012, Carnevil, Gemini midway entrance. Late at night.

Two huge brutes are dragging an obviously terrified waifish female into Carnevil.

17.2 seconds elapse... <screams>

<SCREAMS>

The waif is running out being chased by a chainsaw wielding clown...

Running so fast the air is slamming shut behind her.

11.6 seconds later the two brutes emerge.

Clowny McClown Face, with the saw, loops around behind them and sneaks up.

He gives a "fair catch" arm motion and now 7-10 clowns are behind them - stealthily.

He lights off the saw as the others run around them like a surrounded connestoga wagon.

Brutes freak out.

Brute 1 actually soils his dainties and falls down.

Brute 2 is jumping and screaming and cursing up a storm.

Clowny McClown Face says something quietly to Brute 2 and the clowns en-mass motivate back into the zone.

Brute 1 is crying and shouting "I $h_t myself!" over and over as his buddy is helping him up.

Then I turn around to head to my next destination and discover the girl laughing hysterically behind my vantage point.

Blonde moment from a supervisor, but it's funny. This occurred in 2012 when name tags included either an employee's college or an employee's hometown. I had a supervisor from Spencer, WV. I was working in the candy shop on the Frontier Trail. He bought a beef jerky and I rang him out for the sale. I said to him: You are (name) from Spencer, West Virginia. He asked how I knew he was from Spencer, West Virginia. I said: I've looked at your name tag.

Funny: A woman went on Corkscrew. The bunny hill pre loop tossed her wig. I was at Unload standing by controls watching the train go through as we were ahead of interval just to get ready to clear. Once it hit the hill, you saw something dark fly straight forward & up...We had no clue (most thought it was a bird or hat maybe as it was early in the afternoon).

Once that train came back, the woman proceeded to tell us she lost her hairpiece, granted everyone felt like crap. We actually got permission from supervision to go down / lockout to go into the low zone to find it. Not going to lie, I had tears later that night from laughing so hard...Of all the things my ride threw away...Oh man

Worst: Projectile vomit. I totally knew Witches' Wheel would get some people. Most of the time it's not bad, as it's not spinning you horizontally. It's kind of like driving a car the way it pushed you back through the ride. However, I remember one time the ride went up, it got vertical & was fine, then as it starts tilting down. You hear the telltale signs of someone throwing up...that just...nasty heaving deal. Thankfully I was at load at the time, as the ride is all about centripital force, so anything on the ride gets flung back / towards the ground..Several of the plexiglass walls, and several other cars too. Add in the heat of the day..man that stuff just isn't fun ever. It's a bad day when you realize you're being paid minimum wage to clean up and spray down warm throw up...

I was working Antique Cars in 2013, and we had a car, where the gas pedal was kind of sticking; (not stopping the car when you took your foot off of the gas pedal) like usual. So anyways, it had just finished raining. So the team leader took the car around the track empty and when she was nearing the stop sign at the end, somehow the car’s guide wheels jumped the track, and she drove the car up the employee ramp and into the fence. Thankfully she was ok and no one was injured. After it all happened, the other guy on the platform with me said, “women drivers.”

Worst was getting s**t on by a seagull in the Stockade break area right in front of all of the other Ride Hosts. They of course just like anyone else busted out laughing. It wasn’t quite funny at the time, but looking back on it now, for some odd reason, I kind of chuckle when I walk past stockade going to Maverick.

A guest threw up on you? I guess I shouldn't be suprised there...That must've been gross. So, you worked skyhawk? Also, why do you call it a "protein spill", rather than just "Vomit"?

Fun fact: I almost got on board skyhawk, but it was down due to cleaning.

Actually I was leaving Mine Ride from a service call when the upchuckery occured.

"Vomit" is a little crass. Plus "Protein Spill" has more sylables.

The emu...

^ if we're thinking of the same event, that dang emu caused my crew so much stress and confusion

How many emu events can there be?

The emu? What was that about? What happened?

2016: Calling Pipe Scream down operational seagull. Every time we let people on the platform a seagull that was sitting all the way up on Gemini kept swooping down and attacking us as we were checking seats. That thing was mean!

2017: Test riding Slingshot every morning and perpetually flipping after it slowed down while guests laughed at us like we were idiots

Was the emu thing this year? I seem to remember hearing that commotion over someone's radio and cracking up

^The emu was definitely this year. To clarify, an emu had escaped the petting zoo and needed to be chased down.

Did anyone end up beating the flip record from 2016?

Haha, sweet. So, what did you do with the loose change?

Loose change is donated to the children's fund.

The funniest thing I saw was when a teen girl took her phone out while Cedar Downs was in motion. I went onto the spiel and told her to put it away. She did, only to take it out again a moment later. The phone went flying out of her hand and smashed on the ground. I was in tears from holding back laughter. The girl was upset that her phone was broken, and I was glad karma kicked in.

The worst I've seen? Well, I was once verbally harassed and hit by a guest be cause a kid was too short. There's scientific evidence behind the spine contracting and expanding due to gravity and pressure, causing people to lose half an inch or so. The kid was supposedly tall enough to ride Corkscrew earlier in the day, but was not meeting the height stand to ride Cedar Downs late afternoon. A woman who wasn't even with them eavesdropped on the conversation and just went off on me. "I work in the medical field, and that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Why don't you release your medical journal so I can read it? I'll still think you're stupid and uneducated. Someone needs to educate you. Wow, I had no idea that Cedar Point hired such uneducated white trash." I locked the magnetic gate in front of her (because she said I was stupid) and performed my safety checks. I ran the ride as normal, and the woman began taking pictures of me and shouting how "stupid and uneducated I am" because I wouldn't let a kid shorter than the height stand ride "the carousel." (btw, I hate when people call Cedar Downs a carousel. It is a racing derby/thrill ride!) The ride ended and I started the next cycle. The woman continued to berate me. She then put her phone up to my face to take yet another picture, and I made a face in response because HER PHONE WAS RIGHT IN MY FACE AND SCARED ME! She then smacked me hard on the back before leaving.

Hmm.

Sheesh, that woman who was arguing with you during cedar downs sounds like such an asshole! If anything, why didn't she get her kid measured at guest services? Seriously, as much as CP employees sometimes make me mad, I would never, I repeat, NEVER, do what that woman did to you. Seriously, why didn't you threaten security on her? Oh yeah, if you know anything about Skyhawk, why are we not allowed to push down our own lap bar? Safety reasons?