Cedar Point Chuck Norris Jokes

Working at CP as a sweep this summer got very, very monotonous at times. And since I was not a ride op or anything, I had boundless hours to contemplate life. But when that got boring, I started carrying a notebook on me, recording funny things guests wore, quoting guests, recording random thoughts, and yes, writing Chuck Norris jokes.
So I wanted to share them with you. Please add more if you feel inclined

-Chuck Norris got rollback...on the Millennium Force
-The Wicked Twister was shaped like a U before Chuck Norris rode it.
-Chuck Norris put the man in mantis. However, he did not put the drag in dragster.
-Chuck Norris wins choice prizes on his first try without fail.
-Chuck Norris still gets free refills with his dragster cup.
-Chuck Norris' train ALWAYS wins on the Gemini.
-No harness or seat belt is capable of restraining Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris gets overtime at CP.
-Chuck Norris knows why rides go down, what time they will be running again, and when it will stop raining.
-Chuck Norris does not wait for roller coasters, roller coasters wait for Chuck Norris.

In retrospect, these were a lot funnier to me while I was still working at CP...

With a single breath of air, Chuck Norris can unleash a gust of wind powerful enough to clean all of the paths. Unfortunately, this also shuts down TTD and MF for a while.

And puts sweeps out of the job. ;)

All right, I'll play. Trims and block brakes all shut off before the majesty that is Chuck Norris. And he always makes it to Alaska without losing control.

Chuck Norris only has to pay 300% markup at the Subway in the park.

Chuck Norris can shave with a straight razor while riding Mean Streak at night without receiving the slightest nick on his face or neck.

^Chuck would never shave that beard off! :)

Chuck Norris took one look at Disaster Transport and said, "It's hopeless"

Chuck Norris doesn't question 12-E. 12-E questions Chuck Norris.

Vertigo fell down because it felt inadequate next to Chuck Norris.

Norris doesn't get airtime. Rather, the train is pushed downward.

Chuck Norris is the reason Mantis's loop in on an incline.

Break Trims said:
Chuck Norris only has to pay 300% markup at the Subway in the park.

hahahaha my favorite so far

Chuck Norris can ride the Junior Gemini without a child accompanying him.

I bet Chuck Norris would make more than three baskets at 3-Point Challenge... ;)

When Chuck Norris gets off Mean Streak, the coaster complains that he was really rough and won't do that again.

Chuck Norris could write better jokes than us.

Chuck Norris stopped Magnum from sinking... with his bare hands.

Chuck Norris has the ability to poop vertically upwards on passing sea gulls. He seldom does this, though, as he doesn't wish to disable transiting satellites or aircraft.

Chuck Norris breathes and Skyride is forced to shut down due to wind.

- Chuck Norris was on Dodgem... His Dodgem car hit another one. That poor little boy AND his Dodgem car still haven't been found...
- The Schwabinchen lady was so filled with excitement when Chuck Norris kissed her on the cheek that she packed her bags and twirled out of the park.

Chuck Norris can sit in the forbidden row on STR.