Here is my prediction for opening day at the Point. Feel free to enhance it any way you see fit. :)
Hollywood star, Fabio, in an attempt to restore his image and confidence in the amusement park industry, successfully bids to be a passenger on the first train of the worlds tallest and fastest roller coaster, Millennium Force at Cedar Point in Sundusky Ohio.
It is reported that the superstar ingested several muffleheads during the first drop of this famed coaster including several that got stuck in his teeth. And if this wasn't bad enough for the beleagured star, his face received several lascerations and contusions when he was struck in the face by a wayword seagull at the bottom of the initial hill. Unfortunately, he bird died on impact. The bloodied and beaten star was overheard saying that he will never ride another roller coaster again during his lifetime.
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Ain't it neat to have your butt out of the seat.