Fast Line Pass Article (Onion-isque)

I know from my lurking... there's tons of complaints, comments, etc... about Fast Lane Passes. Not sure if this is better placed in the News area... but since it's tongue and cheek, i placed here.

http://www.cleveland.com/metro/index.ssf/2016/09/cedar_point_expres...river_home

Amusing. I liked it.

(Don't get me started about people who complain about the haves and have nots when talking about Fast Lane not being bothered about the haves and have nots when buying tickets into the park, though... :-) )

The only lines that it really bothers me are Maverick and Valravn. I don't care that there are fast lane passes, just that they enter the station directly. It makes the main queue just feel that much slower.

My suggestion: Maverick splits like Dragster, and Valravn splits front row wait on stairs.

Well considering the park designed the newest coaster with a brand-new station to drop the fast lane people right into the station, I don't think the park shares your sentiment.

And there is clearly not enough backlash that the park is going to change this anytime soon.

Also, wait times are affected by a lot of variables. Do people get mad when it's not raining, school is out of session, Lebron James brings Akron to the park, or if it's Saturday in October?

If I wanted the park to take my suggestion or criticism seriously, I would bring it directly to the park. I just offered my opinion on how I would structure it.

There's no harm in putting your suggestion to the park, btw. It might actually get a response and give you insight into their processes.

Ahh. Mike Polk Jr, a local Cleveland "comedian" riding the fame from his Factory of Sadness jokes about the Browns.

Once I saw who the author was I didn't waste my time reading it.