I don't think I've ever *seen* the Space Pirates, but at the top of the lift, Eddie (don't know if that's his name, but it is as good as any for a ship-board computer) says...
Hang on!!
Uh-oh, space pirates. Taking evasive maneuvers...
As for the exploding asteroids...I believe it is right after the first block brake, there is a big rear-projection screen in front of you which used to feature an animation of an exploding asteroid. That hasn't worked in a few years. Finally, I suspect that the satellite is the one in the middle of the big helix but I don't remember any laser beams. I think those gizmos hanging down from the ceiling may be strobes, but I am not certain of that. Never seen them do anything, either.
--Dave Althoff, Jr.