ChatGPT Delivers The Screamin' Seagull

I asked ChatGPT - "Write a funny news story about Cedar Point amusement park"

It did not disappoint.

Cedar Point Unveils New Ride: "The Screamin' Seagull"

Cedar Point, the famous amusement park in Ohio, has just unveiled its newest ride: "The Screamin' Seagull." The ride is modeled after the park's resident seagulls, which are known for their fearless antics and love of stealing snacks from unsuspecting guests.

According to park officials, the ride will take guests on a wild journey through the park, as they soar high above the crowds, swoop down to snatch food out of people's hands, and perform daring acrobatics. The ride will even simulate the feeling of being chased by an angry mob of park-goers, just like the seagulls experience on a daily basis.

"We're thrilled to bring the excitement of Cedar Point's seagulls to our guests in a whole new way," said a park spokesperson. "We know people love watching these birds in action, so we decided to let them experience it for themselves."

The ride has already garnered a lot of attention from both locals and tourists, with many eager to try it out for themselves. However, some critics have raised concerns about the safety of the ride, citing the seagulls' reputation for being aggressive and unpredictable.

Despite the controversy, Cedar Point remains confident in its newest attraction. "We have the best ride engineers in the business, and we've taken every precaution to ensure the safety of our guests," the spokesperson said. "Plus, what's a little bird poop between friends?"

That's an Onion level new story for sure lol

The article is severely lacking in authenticity without a quote from Jeff Putz.

Up-charge available for this, Poop-Lane and Poop-Lane Plus.

The seagulls at Cedar Point are like the unofficial mascots of the park, always on the lookout for their next free meal from unsuspecting visitors. It's like they've formed a seagull mafia and are running a protection racket: 'Nice funnel cake stand you got here, shame if something happened to it.'

The seagulls also like to see how many people they can crap on in a bombing pass! One nailed 10 people in line behind me waiting for the Blue Streak. Most of it ended up on one lady.

Does anyone know what "screaming seagull" really means? Look it up in the Urban Dictionary.....

Now that's funny......

You know what, that sounds like a hell of a fun ride.